This past Sunday I spoke at the adult Sunday school at my church, where I shared my story of the journey of my illness, and how my faith has played a significant role in being able to handle everything that I have been through. I was also pleased that my dad, step mom, brother and sister were able to come and hear it. They came down to have dinner with me the previous night, and were able to stay and hear the speech. At least seventy-five people were their and I didn't expect that it would touch and inspire so many people. My grandmother said that nobody was fidgeting in their seats, nobody got up and left or talked to their neighbor. I also didn't expect people to cry, but they did. Even I got teary eyed a couple of times, and I did not expect that. I had numerous people come up to talk to me afterward to say how inspired they were, and how they didn't know all of what I had been through, and have gotten sweet and encouraging cards since then. My grandmother also said many people, including former Sunday school teachers from when I was younger, come up to her and said similar things.
For awhile I have had this void, because I have always been the type of person who enjoys volunteering, doing service projects, and being a blessing and encouraging others, and because of my illness I have felt I have been more on the receiving end instead of the giving. I had been praying that God will help me to find a way to be a blessing and encourage and inspire others. When I got the opportunity to share my story, and heard how people were excited and looking forward to hearing it, I felt that void could begin to be filled. It wasn't until after I shared my story that I really felt that void actually beginning to be filled. I have been thinking lately about what I could do in life, knowing what the situation is/could be with my illness. I realized that I could continue blogging, and eventually turn the blogs into a book. I can also try and look for religious organizations, magazines, and websites that would allow me to share my story of illness and faith. I also would like to start volunteering in the playrooms at Dell Children's, work more with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and maybe even start a teenagers with arthritis support group through my pediatric rheumatologists office. I feel that these things are what I am called to do. I love what 1 Corinthians 9:23 says, "I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings." I think that this scripture is so true. I feel that by sharing my story and helping others, I am doing it for both therm and God, and at the same time everyone will be blessed. I also love Romans 15:29 which says, "I know that when I come to you, I will come in the full measure of the blessing of Christ." This piece of scripture comforts me, because it helps me to know that by doing what the Lord calls me to do, I will receive his blessings, because I am being called to be a blessing, and to encourage and inspires others.
On a different note, things are going along. I am down to 20 mg of the weekly Methotrexate, which I like to call "lemonade", because its yellow, and lemonade sounds like a positive way to describe a poison. With this lower dose, I am experiencing more symptoms, including increased joint pain, swelling and stiffness, increased muscle weakness, shortness of breath, and fatigue. They have increased my methadone to 40 mg from 30mg. I am not sure how long they will keep me on the 20, before going down to 15, but because I am feeling worse, I hope that it is for a little while at least. I meet with my Hem/Onc doctor, Dr. Cline-Burkhardt (Dr. CB) next Friday, and Dr. Carrasco the following week. I was pleased to have some fun in the past two weeks. I had dinner with one of my best friends from my support group the week before last, spent the night at the Holiday Inn with my god sister last Monday, where we watched movies, ordered room service, and read gossip magazines while eating our favorite candy Dazzlers. I got to see my dad, step-mom, brother and sister on Saturday where we went to the Cheesecake Factory and then Barnes & Nobles, and had breakfast after my speech. Sunday afternoon I went to the Domain with another best friend from church, which was really fun. This is my mom's last week of work, so I am looking forward to spending some quality time with her, and going on a little getaway, and maybe going on a trip with two of my best friends. With all the stress, I am glad to be getting some fun in, even if it causes increased pain and fatigue, it is totally worth it. I am continuing to try and trust God with all that is going, but its definitely a process. Knowing that I have Him as my rock and strength, gives me peace and comfort, because I know that He can accomplish things that I can't do on my own. By giving my life and heart to Him, He will be able to do more than I could ever imagine.
I believe they will be posting the recording of it on the church's website, and possibly make CD's. I will let you all know how you will be able to hear the recording of it, if you so desire.
Joyful Love
&
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta
No comments:
Post a Comment