This year, particularly this past week and the next two days, I have been feeling the Christmas rush for the first time in a few years. Not just mentally, but physically as well. Between doing Christmas cards, baking, Christmas parties, shopping, doctors appointments and chemo treatments, I have really pushed myself. Being the organized type A person that I am, I tried to make sure that I planned ahead of time and paced myself. Making sure on days that I knew I wouldn't be able to nap, to do so the previous day if I could. I didn't realize however that my body has just been a lot weaker and more fatigued, and what I thought was a good pace wasn't enough. Despite the increased weakness, joint pain, swelling, stiffness, and fatigue, it was all worth it because I was doing things that I enjoyed. My palliative care doctor and therapist both say that if its something I enjoy doing, even if it causes more fatigue or pain, its OK because I'm doing something that I enjoy, which can help my mental outlook. The only downside (minus the increased symptoms), is the realization of how much weaker my body is getting, and how I'm not able to do as much as I used to or thought that I could do. It makes the fact that my body is not working and continuing to decline, more real, and that is a tough thing to realize. The doctors told me that I would experience a decline, but until I start to notice it with an increase in symptoms, it doesn't seem to hit me.
With Christmas just a few days away, and my mind and body both drained, I'm finding it crucial to center and focus on awaiting and celebrating the birth of Christ. I love reading the daily Advent devotions from Bible Gateway every morning, and the Billy Graham weekly one. I am also reading three different Christmas books, one for my morning reading, the second for my afternoon book, and the third for my nightly reading. All of these devotions and books give me the opportunity to get back to remembering what we are celebrating this Christmas season. They allow me to refocus when I get stressed thinking about what all I need to do and whether or not I have the time to do it, as well as when I'm tired and in pain. This time of year is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, and the most joyous, yet somehow it seems to be so stressful, chaotic, and sad or depressing for some. The focus becomes on getting that "perfect gift", on making sure that the house looks just right for when family comes to visit. It saddens me to here about people being mauled at stores, all so that they can get some material item that in a year will no longer be "in". What we forget is that we have already been given the "perfect gift", God in human form, His precious son Jesus Christ. When we think of it that way, it makes all of the stress, worrying, and chaos seem so unimportant, which it is in comparison to the gift of Christ. I have been trying to remember that this perfect gift is the reason for the season, and to share that with others. Luke 2:10 says, "And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people." I love this verse because the birth of our Savior is something that brings "good tidings and great joy."
As we await celebrating the birth of Jesus in the next few days, I hope that we can all remember what the true meaning of Christmas is about. To try and not let ourselves get to stressed out and wrapped up in worrying about material gifts, and other things that will eventually be lost or forgotten. The best gift that we can give is ourselves. Our love, kindness, encouragement, and generosity. Spending time with family, friends, and other loved ones celebrating the biggest birthday of all, where we are the ones who receive that "perfect gift" of God in human form. I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas, filled with love, good tidings, and great joy.
"And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end." Luke 1:31-33
Joyful Love
&
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta
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