Decision Not Yet Made

Yesterday was my appointment in Houston at TCH with Dr. Martinez (the transplant doctor). The appointment went ok, it could have been a lot worse. She has not made a decision yet about whether or not she is going to do the transplant. In this appointment, she wanted to see how I was clinically doing, and repeat all the blood work, because it has been about six months since she last saw me. She said that I definitely had more swelling, redness, and the rash on my face was present. All of this was not visible when she last saw me. She wants to make sure that the transplant will actually benefit me, and that she will not do more harm than good. She and the rest of the team meet every Friday, and once all of the lab work comes in (some could take up to a week), they will formulate a plan. She said that even if she decides not to do a transplant, their will be a plan B, and she will continue to be helping me in anyway she can, and continue working on my case. Though I was disappointed not to have a yes or no answer, it does feel good to know that whatever the decision is, that it will not be made lightly, and that she and the other doctors have really thought hard and long about it. I have another appointment scheduled with her on April 3rd, and at that point we will be given a plan. 

I am trying my best to be patient and to not over analyze things, and think about all the "what-ifs", but it is extremely difficult. I have been praying nearly every day that the doctors will do the BMT, and I know that God knows what I want. I think that I have to continue to really trust, believe, and have faith. I love what Romans 4:18 says, "Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed..." When I read this scripture, it helps me to continue to hope and believe, even if in the natural it seems as though you shouldn't. Until I hear a confirmed no, I am still going to believe that the transplant will happen, and say "when it happens" instead of "if". I can't expect abundance if I speak and act negatively. So as I continue to wait, I am just trying to take it day by day, and be at peace knowing that I'm letting "Jesus Take The Wheel."


Joyful Love
          &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta