Preparing For The New Year

As the holiday's come to a close and we prepare for the new year, I have been reflecting on this past year. It has truly been a roller coaster of a year. From stoping the Cytoxan treatment early, doing weekly methotrexate, meeting with the transplant team at Texas Children's Hospital (still waiting to hear back from them), to my grandfather having to have to major surgeries, and maybe undergoing another one in the next few months, my mother finally earning her PhD, and learning that I need to have a hysterectomy, it has been a crazy year for me and my family. Despite all of that we are still going strong, and are family is as close as ever. I am also beginning to reflect on the year 2013, and how I know it is truly going to be an awesome year. I know God is going to bestow even more blessings on me and my family. Although my year may not start out the best with me having to have a hysterectomy on the 17th, it will get better as we prepare for the transplant. I am not just simply hoping for it but preparing for it. Scripture talks about how in order for us to make something happen we have to talk and plan like it is a for sure thing. Some people may think that a BMT isn't something to look forward to, but for me it is. I know that the transplant will give me a new life and a cure. I will be able to walk, and maybe even run, I will be able to breath better, and have less joint pain, swelling, fatigue, and muscle weakness, and that is definitely something to look forward to. I will finally be able to go to college, and travel, and be a "normal" young adult. 

As the new year approaches, we all make resolutions; eat healthier, exercise more, go to church, and do more volunteer work. Although that is a great thing to do, I personally like to think of the new year as a fresh start, and a time for rejuvenation. A time to close the doors on the previous year and begin again. As Romans 15:32 says, "So that I may come to you with joy, by God's will, and in your company be refreshed." I think this a perfect verse for the new year, because it says that with God will be refreshed. And each new year that does happens. As you and your family prepare for the new year, I hope that you find it as a time for refreshment and new beginnings. I wish you all a Happy New Year!!!!


Joyful Love
         &
Blessings In The Lord 
Alexandra K. Acosta 

Merry Christmas

I hope everybody had a wonderful Christmas, I know I did. The day began with mom and me waking up and opening are stockings. I got some new earbuds, and eucalyptus stress relief bath gel, which I could really use, and mom got some goodies as well. We then enjoyed raspberry turnovers (which was something we used to have at my grandparents when it was cold outside, it brought back fond childhood memories) and coffee. Then we spent the morning relaxing and hanging out. The two of us then went to see Anna Karenina, which was a good movie. We tend to go to movies Thanksgiving and Christmas day while my great great Aunt Martha and/or my grandmother are cooking dinner. After the movie, we met my grandparents at my great great Aunt Martha's house, to open gifts and have Christmas dinner. I got an iPhone 5, new slippers, bath stuff, a wonderful scarf and hat, and both my mom and I got Keurig K-cup coffee makers. We then enjoyed a wonderful dinner of standing rib roast, potatoes, green bean casserole, cheese and onions, and cranberry relish. For dessert we had a wonderful ginger pudding with coffee. My Aunt Martha is a wonderful cook, and it was nice just the five of us, enjoying conversation, laughing, and just being together. Are family may be small, but we truly have a wonderful family. Although I did enjoy getting gifts, I would of been happy just being with my family, because they along with Jesus Christ, are the most precious gifts that I could ever receive. I am so blessed to have the family that I do, not just the one that I spent Christmas with, but all my aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, and my half brother and sister. While I was with my family and opening gifts I thought of all the blessings given to me and my family, which are really gifts from God. Thats how I see blessings, as gifts from God. 1 Corinthians 12:4 says, "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them." I find that scripture so very true. I hope that every day, just like on Christmas that we can all think about the gifts that the Spirit has distributed to us. 


Joyful Love
          &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta 

Preparing For Christmas

Preparing for Christmas usually means decorating the house, running from party to party, spending money on expensive gifts, baking and cooking, and getting the house ready for visiting family that you only see about once or twice a year. For me, preparing for Christmas is preparing for the birth of our savior Jesus. I wonder how the people of Israel prepared for Jesus' birth long ago. I doubt it was the way we prepare for Christmas. This is such a wonderful time of year and I am filled with immense joy, knowing that tomorrow will be the day in which we celebrate God joining the human race through Jesus. It is very easy to lose sight of what the true meaning of Christmas is in today's world. It seems as though Christmas has become such a commercial, retail obsessed holiday, where all we think about is getting presents, and the stress level becomes so high with the preparations, that the joy of the holiday season is gone. Since I have a lot of time on my hands, I have been meditating and reflecting on the holiday season, and the true meaning of it. I have really been turning to scripture and reading the story of Jesus' birth, and for some reason it has really been spiritually nourishing to me. I feel with everything that has happened this past year, that this Christmas is really special to me. I am so blessed to be able to have a wonderful family and friends, and to not be in the hospital this holiday season. I do know that the greatest gift that I can receive is the gift of Jesus. As we are busy making last minute preparations for Christmas, I hope we can all take a minute to slow down and remember what we are really preparing for. As Luke 1:76-79 says, "And you, my child will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace."


Joyful Love
         &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

The Hiding Place

Yesterday I finished reading The Hiding Place, a book that tells the incredible story of Corrie Ten Boom. Corrie, her sister Betsie, and her father were watchmakers in Holland, and hid Jews in their home when the Nazis began occupying Holland. They were arrested and Corrie, and her sister were taken to a concentration camp in Germany. They hid a Bible, and ministered to the women in their barracks, and even prayed for the guards who were harming them. While Corrie was concerned about the prisoners, her sister was more worried about the sousl of the guards. Her sister kept on referring to 1 Thessalonians 5:18 which says, "Give thanks in all circumstances." She gave thanks for the tight conditions, for the women, the cloth dresses they received. Betsie even told her to give thanks for the flees, but Corrie said she wouldn't. Betsie said that the Lord said, "Give thanks in ALL circumstances'", not just pleasant circumstances, so she gave thanks for the flees. The fact that Corrie was able to keep her faith, rely on God, and turn to scripture, in such a difficult time is extremely inspiring.  Her sister said that when they got out of the camp that they must start a home for survivors of the camp, to help them recover and share God's word. Betsie died in prison, and Corrie was released (it was later learned that she was only released because of a clerical error, and shortly after her release the women of her age were gassed). When released Corrie began sharing her testimony, and started the home, one of which was in a former concentration camp. She preached to prisoners about forgiving those who harmed them, which many did. After one of he presentations a former guard at the camp she was in approached her, and thanked her because he knew that God forgave him for his sins. He reached out to shake her hand but she couldn't do it, yet this is what she preached. She prayed to God that she would be able to forgive him, and when her hand touched his, a wonderful feeling came over her. It was amazing that she was able to forgive and connect with the guard at the camp. All but one of the Jews who were hiding in the Ten Boom house when the gestapo arrested them survived. God was truly with Corrie during her darkest hour. As scripture says, when we are faithful to God, even in difficult times, we will be greatly rewarded and blessed. Corrie's story has taught me to continue to trust and have faith in the Lord, even in this most difficult time. I must trust him, and know that he is always with me and will never forsake me, and that when I am in pain and hurting so is he. I believe in a loving God, and want to be able to share his love and word with those around me. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." I truly believe in this verse, and just like Corrie Ten Boom, I will rely and trust in God even in my darkest hour. 


Joyful Love
         &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

The Power Of Prayer

I have always prayed before meals, at bedtime and in church. But when I became ill, prayer became a much bigger part of my life. Now, in addition to praying at meals and at bedtime, I pray at least once a day in the morning, and read my Bible every day, except for chemo days when I am completely out of it. But even then I read some sort of scripture verse. When I don't pray I feel empty, as though I need to be spiritually nourished and fed. When I pray and/or read scripture I feel at peace. I always have my prayer shaw (given to me by the prayer shaw committee at my church) wrapped around me when I read my Bible and pray. I can feel God's arms around my shoulders, and I know that those who knitted it just for me have prayed over it. Prayer is a kind of meditation for me, it allows me to refocus and become grounded. I feel as though I am having a one on one conversation with God, and were the only to people in the world. Even though I have had prayers that have not been answered, or have been answered in a different way, I still feel peace. I know that I have left it in God's hands. I do believe in the power of prayer, and I believe that God does here our prayers. He may not answer them in the time in which we want them answered, or even in the way we want them answered, but he knows whats best for us and what we need. Prayer gives me strength, and it helps me to be able to continue to fight each day. I know that without that spiritual food, and God's love, I would be empty, and feel so incomplete. There is something that only God's love can fill, and we all need it. I encourage you all to find a time each day to pray. Maybe its before bed, when you first get up in the morning, or in the car on your way to work. I guarantee that you will be spiritually fed, and filled with God's love. 

Psalm 66:19 "But God has surely listened and has heard my prayer." 


Joyful Love
         &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

Another Bump On The Roller Coaster

This past Thursday I got some discouraging news. I learned that I need to have a hysterectomy. I have been having some issues, that would have usually been treated by medications and a minor surgical procedure. After my doctor learned that the fertility doctor told me that my eggs have already sustained damage from chemo (and even more so now because I have had much more chemotherapy) so my chances of having biological children are slim to none, she told me that even if I went into remission it would not be safe for me or a baby to carry a child. Women with my diseases can be in a remission and even go into a remission during but after birth get extremely sick and have bad flares (some even die), and getting control over their disease and going back into remission is very difficult sometime impossible. Pregnancy is hard on a healthy women, so for someone like me its even harder. Babies of women with my kind of diseases often do not develop well in-utero and are often premature. The fertility doctor had told me that my only way of being pregnant would to use an egg donor, where another women's egg is implanted in my uterus. When they do that though they usually implant more than one to increase the chance of pregnancy so the chances of having twins or other multiples is increased. With my lung and heart issues is another reason why pregnancy is not recommended. Since the only purpose of having a uterus is to carry a baby, and that would not be good, and I would be facing having pills and the minor surgery every 6 to 9 months, its just best to take the uterus out and do the hysterectomy. This news was not as hard to hear as it was from the fertility doctor, because when I went to him with hope. I am also happy they couldn't freeze any eggs because that would of made the decision even more difficult. I am still in the "shock" phase, and I know it will be harder in coming years when all my friends are pregnant and having babies. I have been turning to scripture a lot. As Psalms 28:7 says, "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me." I truly believe that and I know that if I trust in him I will be at peace. I have a bit of an update regarding the transplant at TCH. Dr. CB my oncologist here, talked with Dr. Martinez (the transplant doctor in Houston), and she is having a hard time finding the right conditioning regimen. Cytoxan is one of the drugs used to condition the body for a transplant, and her concern is because I failed it giving me higher doses wouldn't be beneficial, and she wants to find a regimen that is safe and won't kill me. So she is not sure whether she will proceed with the transplant. Its NOT a no, but she is trying to work things out. I asked Dr. CB to remind her that the Cytoxan worked for while, it just eventually stopped working, same with the Methotrexate. But in the cancer world that would mean the drug failed. Its difficult for Dr. Martinez, because when a person has leukemia, or lymphoma, their is a conditioning protocol that they know works, and for my case they don't know. Its a guessing game. I am just continuing to have faith, and hope to hear something soon, most likely after the new years, because of the holidays. 

On another note, my heart goes out to the families, and the community of the Sandy Hook school shooting in Connecticut. 20 precious angels lost their lives, and eight adults. Evil exists in this world, but God did not create evil. Its even more difficult for the families and the community because it is so close to Christmas. As Lamentations 3:32-33 says, "Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone." As Jeremiah 33:6 says, "Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security." I know that the families must feel anger towards God, and that is understandable. We never know what God's plan is. I hope that the families and the community can find comfort in scripture, and prayer. May they know that God is feeling their pain and that he is with all of them and watching over them, and that heir children, are in heaven smiling and playing free of all pain. Please keep these families and the community in your thoughts and prayers.


Joyful Love
         &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

Christmas Trees, Gingerbread Houses & The Birth Of Jesus

This week has been filled with some Christmas fun. On Wednesday, my grandparents and I went over to Red Barn Garden Center to pick out a Christmas tree to put up at my great great Aunt Martha's house. It didn't take us very long to find the perfect tree. I think the second tree that I saw was the one we picked. It was extremely fun, because I was actually able to be apart of the process. The past few years just my grandfather and Aunt Martha went, but I actually got to go this year. Then today, my mom and I attempted to make a gingerbread house. It started out looking like a kindergartener's art project, then the whole thing collapsed. My mom and I couldn't stop laughing. Despite not being able to have a finished product we had fun anyway. We may attempt to do another one next year, but with a different kit. We were definitely not going to make one from scratch. That is one of the things that I love about the holiday and Christmas season, the fun memories that our made. The gingerbread house fiasco is definitely a fun memory that I will always have. 

The other reason why I truly love the Christmas season, is because we are celebrating the birth of Christ. Jesus is the best gift that I and anyone else can receive. God sent his only son to do such wonderful things, and then had him die on the cross for our sins. Of course I like getting presents, decorating the tree, and drinking egg nogg, but I like celebrating the birth of Jesus more. For me Christmas is a big birthday party, and that is how I like to think of it. When we exchange gifts on Christmas morning, I like to remember how the wiseman brought gifts to baby Jesus. As I have gotten older, I have started to really understand the true meaning and spirit of Christmas. Its not just about the presents like it was when I was little. I am so excited for the Christmas season. I hope that we can all remember what we are truly celebrating this Christmas.

As Matthew 2:11 says, "On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh."



Joyful Love
         & 
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

Season Of Giving

This Advent and Christmas season always inspires and encourages me to give back more. Though we should give back when we can no matter what time of year it is, I think most of us can agree that the holiday season reminds us to do it even more. You see the people ringing their bells for the Salvation Army, the Austin American has its Season's For Caring, and many other organizations run advertising for donations. I feel that I have been given so much and the Lord has blessed me more than I can imagine, that I want to give back in any way that I can. Its hard when you are sick, and money is tight, to find a way to give back, but it is possible. One of my favorite things to encourage others to give back is something that Macy's does for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Each year they have something where you can "write a letter to Santa" and drop it off in a mailbox in Macy's and they will give a dollar to the foundation. This is a great thing to do if you have young children, grandchildren, cousins, nieces and nephews, or if you are a kid at heart. As Romans 12:8 says, "If it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully." Scripture talks a lot about giving, this verse along with Matthew 6:4 which says, "So that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." I encourage you all this holiday season, and all year around, to give back to a cause close to your heart. I know for some finances are tight, but even 5 or 10 dollars can make a difference. Some of the organizations close to me are: The Make-A-Wish Foundation, The Myositis Association, The Arthritis Foundation, and the Spondylitis Association. I hope this holiday season allows you to get bitten by the "giving bug" And as scripture says, we will be rewarded for our good deeds.


Joyful Love
         &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

Busy Week

This week is going to be a bit hectic and stressful for my family. My grandfather is scheduled for surgery on Thursday, and is expected to be in the hospital for about 4 to 5 days. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers this week. Of course I also have chemo this Friday, but a sweet friend of the family has agreed to drop me off and pick me up from chemo. It is such a blessing to have so many kind and generous people in our lives. In times of sickness you can really tell who your friends are. I am so thankful that I have a group of wonderful friends who are always there for me. I know that this week will be stressful for my grandmother, but I know that she has the strength to get through it, and so does my grandfather. Some people may say that it is so unfair that are family has to go through all of these difficulties. But who said life was fair right? As James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of any kind because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything." I have to trust that God knows what he is doing for me and my family, but that is not an easy thing to do. It is a true testing of my faith. I know that as long as I give my worries and anxiety to the Lord, I will be at peace. And peace is the one thing that I want to achieve right now (besides getting better). Thank you all for your prayers and support, they mean more than you will ever know. 


Joyful Love
          &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta