20 Years Old

Yesterday was my 20th birthday. I can't believe that I am 20 years old, I always imagined what it would be like to be this age, and now I am. Time sure does fly. I had a wonderful birthday weekend. It started off with my mother taking me to dinner just the two of us at Iron Cactus on Friday (which was a nice to do after chemo), then lunch at La Madeleine on Saturday followed by shopping for makeup at Sephora and Ulta. On Sunday we had church, and then a delicious brunch at Chez Zee with my mom, grandparents, great great Aunt Martha, and my cousin Georgina. My actual birthday was pretty low key, I had coffee with my grandfather just the two of us in the afternoon, and then Aunt Martha made a delicious dinner of her homemade meatloaf and macaroni and cheese. Georgina made a delicious flan, but both she and my grandmother weren't feeling very well, so it was just me, my mom, my grandfather and Aunt Martha. 

I have been reflecting on my life so far, and it has truly been a roller coaster, but wonderful none the less. I never imagined that my life would be where it is right now, but that's what makes life interesting, the surprises along he way. I am so blessed to have the family and friends that I do, and I love my life (but I don't love being sick). The things that have happened in my life have helped to make me the person that I am. No one but God knows what life holds for us, but I know that he has blessings and good things in all of our futures. I am so happy to be hear, and I plan to be around for a long time. There were times that I didn't know if I would make it to 20, but I'm hear. No matter what happens, I have loved my life, and I can't wait for more birthday's. I loved remembering birthday's of years gone by, and all of the wonderful memories of my childhood, and I can't wait to make even more memories. I plan on living life to the fullest. John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I find that this verse really applies to my situation. My disease is the thief, and it has come to steal and destroy my life and I am not going to let it. I am going to have life and live it to the full. I hope that we can all live life to the fullest. 


Joyful Love
          &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

Back Home

Well I am finally back home after my surgery on Thursday. I am doing well, pretty sore, but all and all not bad. The surgery ended up taking three hours, instead the estimated hour and a half. Apparently there was a lot of scar tissue (thank you steroids), and they ended up calling in a general surgeon, to make sure that they didn't damage any organs or anything, but luckily all went well. I only spent one night, and was able to come home yesterday. I am trying to stick to my normal routine, because I know that will help me recuperate more quickly. I even plan on going to church tomorrow, because I know it will give me strength. The emotional aspect of the surgery hasn't really hit me yet, and I don't have any regrets right now, but I know that it will hit me at some point. I really have been praying and turning to scripture a lot during this time, because I find that it had given me strength and peace. I know that this was the right decision, and I believe that it is all part of God's plan. I know that he only wants good for me, and he will provide abundant blessings for me. This roller coaster journey that I am on, is not something that I would have imagined in my wildest dreams, but I know that is has helped me grow spiritually, and mentally. I have met wonderful friends along the way, and my family and friends have provided me with so much love support. Job 4:4 says, "Your words have supported those who stumbled; you have strengthened faltering knees." I really feel that this verse describes what God, my friends and family have provided me. Their words have supported me during the darkest of times and they have provided me with so much strength and encouragement. I want to thank all of my wonderful friends and family, and those of you who read my blog. You don't realize how much support and encouragement you have given me. I am so blessed that God has put each and everyone of you in my life. I can't thank you enough!!!!


Joyful Love
         &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

Surgery Tomorrow

Well the time has come for my hysterectomy. It is scheduled for tomorrow the 17th at 8:00 AM, which means I have to be at the hospital by 6:00. I have been prepared for it since we scheduled it back in December, but it didn't become real until Monday after all of the pre-op stuff. After talking with the doctor for the second time, I had peace that I have made the right decision. When people hear that I am having a hysterectomy they are a bit surprised since its not a common procedure among 19 year olds unless they have cancer (which thankfully I don't have. I know that this is all part of God's plan, and that maybe this is way of saving me or a child from having complications from a pregnancy or birth. Like I said previously, this decision wasn't as hard as hearing from the fertility doctor that I could never have biological children. My main worry is that sometime down the road when I find a man that I want to marry, that when he finds out I can't get pregnant, that he won't want to be with me. But when I heard from a friend that her niece had one at 17, and is now married to a wonderful man, it gave me confidence in knowing that God will lead me to the right man. I am trying to just go about my day as usual and not get nervous, because there is really no point in it. I actually worry more about my mom, then I am about myself. 

Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." This piece of scripture really spoke to me in preparation for my surgery, and regarding life in general. It gives me comfort to know that no matter what, God is always with me, and that he will give me strength to endure anything that comes my way. As I prepare for this big event, I know that no matter what happens, God will be right there with me, he will be guiding the doctors, and providing comfort to my family. Assuming all goes well, I will only be in the hospital one night, and be coming home Friday. I hope that know matter what happens in life for anyone of us, that we all have peace in knowing that God is along for the ride. Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow. I will try and blog when I get home, to let you know how everything went, and how my recovery is going. 


Joyful Love
          &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

Strength

I have been having issues in which my right knee has been popping in and out of place (I've actually fallen because of this), and causing me a great deal of discomfort. I had this same problem on my left knee a few years ago and had an arthroscopic surgery where they realigned my knee. My oncologist Dr. CB was concerned about the knee causing me to fall at times, and thought since I am scheduled to have my hysterectomy next Thursday, why not have my knee realigned at the same time. The orthopedist doesn't want to do surgery right now because my thigh muscles are so week from the myositis that even if he goes in and fix the knee, it will still have problems because the muscles are not strong enough to support it. Plus with my immune system being so compromised from the chemotherapy, surgery on a joint is not recommended. So, an order for physical therapy was written to help strengthen the knee and the muscles around it. Once I am off chemo (which would mean after the BMT), and the muscles are stronger, if the knee is still bothering me, then he would go and fix it. Because my immune system is compromised I can't go to a physical therapy gym or pool, so I have to get a home health physical therapist to come and work with me. Now I am an expert on PT, I have had it on pretty much every joint and muscle you can think of. Its not the most pleasant thing to do, but its the only form of exercise I get, and I know it will help me to gain strength. 

Strength (both physical and emotional) is a wonderful quality to have. I pray all the time that got would give me the necessary strength to accomplish my goals and to get better. God is truly where I get my strength from, because he has the most strength of any being on earth (both physical and mental). I love what Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." When I read that verse I know that all my strength really does come from God. I would never be able to deal with what I have to go through if I didn't have strength. My physical strength might be weak, but I am strong spiritually and mentally. 

I was thinking about how in order for us to increase are physical strength, we have to exercise. The same is true for our spiritual strength. In order for us to do that, we have to work harder on our relationship with God, and turn to scripture. Psalm 105:4 says, "Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." That verse is very true. The Lord is the only place where we can truly find strength. I hope you can find whatever strength that you need, and know that with God you will be stronger than you could have ever imagined. 


Joyful Love
          &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta

New Year's Resolution/Goals

Its a few days into the new year, and most of us have probably started working on our new year's resolutions and goals. One of my biggest resolutions this year is to really work on developing a closer relationship with God, reading scripture and praying daily, and doing things that please and honor him. I began to realize that by doing that almost all of my other resolutions/goals will be covered. For example being healthier, scripture says to treat your body as though it were a temple and nourishing it with good and healthy foods. Being kind and loving others is mentioned several times in scripture. Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control."  This verse encompasses everything that I want to accomplish this year. Knowing that the goals I want to accomplish will also be pleasing to God, gives me such peace, and thinking about it in a scriptural way makes me want to accomplish them even more. I know that it is not going to be an easy task, but like everything else, if I work hard at it, and rely on strength from the Lord I can accomplish it. A new year has begun and I am so excited, I feel as though anything is possible, as long as I believe and have faith. I know that it will happen when it happens. God has wonderful plans for each and every one of us, and wants us to have a blessed and successful life. I pray that each one of you will accomplish all of your goals and resolutions this new year. I know that this year will be the best one yet. 


Joyful Love 
          &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta 

Happy New Year

Well, it is officially 2013, and a new year has begun. It is a time to close the door on the previous year and for a fresh start. I am really looking forward to this year, and I know that God has so many wonderful blessings planned for me and my family. One of my main goals for this year is to really have a positive attitude, and to see the good in everything and everyone. I really feel that this is a time for refreshment and rejuvanation. I recently read a scripture verse that really describes the new year, it is 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” This really says what the new year is all about. My hope is that we can all see that with a new year comes new hope, new faith, and a new attitude. Anything can happen this new year, and we are all in the drivers seat. I hope that this year brings good health, happiness, a new beginning, and numerous blessings for you and your family. I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!


Joyful Love
         &
Blessings In The Lord
Alexandra K. Acosta
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